[Episode] Kind of Cryptic

Disbelief. Torment. Fury. A cocktail of emotions boiled inside Marik’s skull. Perhaps it was his professional pride, or maybe just the serum talking, but he absolutely despised this... this... Third-rate quack! How dare this ratty nobody disrespect his life’s work? As the mental concoction foamed, whispers slipped into his ear. They promised power. In exchange, they only asked one thing. One tiny, simple thing...

Just... let... go.

The dubious scientist twitched. His arm bulged, slamming against the stones. Discolored flesh and bulging boils crept across his skin. Cancerous mass, all too similar to the fleshy monster, ripped through his sleeve. It swelled and stretched, lashing about like the limb of a long-arm, complete with the second elbow. Gathering momentum, it swung at the rat.

Richard, in turn, could feel a scream getting stuck in his throat. He had seen his fair share of aggressive tumors, but this was a new one. Frozen like an animal before a predator, he didn’t even think to dodge. He was swatted right into a wall. Something cracked on impact, sending a sensation akin broken glass scratching through his nerves. Air was driven out of his lungs in a pitiful squeak. Now he knew how gnats must’ve felt like...

As the furious, relentless and rapidly mutating monster marched closer, the rat struggled and failed to find his legs. Desperation painted his features pale. In his last moments, he raised his hands... “W-waitwaitWAIT!” And squealed. “I surrender! Please spare me! Pleasepleaseplease...” His pitiful begging proved jarring enough to stop even the incoming fist.

Marik stopped dead in his tracks. The power of disbelief was strong. [npc=misc]“What...? You think you can just surrender? And beg for your miserable life after everything you’ve done?!”[/npc] He should have killed this wretch on the spot. The urge was pulsing through his veins, reminiscent of a second heartbeat.

Much like a salesman who got his foot in the door, the sharp-dressed coward kept talking. “L-look, we’ve both said and done some regrettable things... B-but if we work together, we can salvage this. All of this.” Clearly his sales pitch was working. He was still alive, right? Right.

Trembling hands made it hard, but the rat revealed one of the spent syringes, alongside a sheepish smile. “See, I’m something of a doctor myself. Nothing quite on your level, of course, but experienced nonetheless. A-and I can learn. I can be your apprentice. Imagine what our combined expertise could accomplish.” He knew the siren song of research all too well. They were both men of science, more alike than either wanted to admit.

In the background, the rat could hear the ogre clashing against the fleshy mass, with both words and blades. His smile sharpened. “And as an added bonus, I’ll help you take down the big lunk.” He offered a weak, trembling hand. “Whadda ya say, master?”

After a moment of tense staring, the scientist finally reached for the offered hand. [npc=misc]“...Fine. It’s a de-”[/npc] He didn’t even get to finish the sentence, as the rat suddenly took a swing at him. No amount of anatomical advantage could change certain weak points. An impact to the jaw left the brain rattling against the skull for several crucial seconds.

Without hesitation, without mercy, the crook grabbed the monster’s head and drove it against the wall. Cracks spread like a spider web. The injector gleamed in his grasp, as he stabbed it into the foe’s back. Pitch black liquid drained into the bulging flesh.

And then...

Violence.

Richard recoiled, as Marik started thrashing. He stumbled back, avoiding haphazard swings from the mismatched arms. One particularly careless step caused him to trip over his suitcase. He immediately scrambled for it, clutching it like a shield against the growling menace.

[npc=misc]“Y-you... lied... to me...!”[/npc]

The monster formerly known as Marik staggered. Grunted. Wheezed. His healthy hand rose to clutch his chest. He coughed and thick bile splattered onto the floor. Without any grand fanfare or last words, the foe collapsed. Life fled him in a raspy death rattle clawing its way out of his lungs...

And then Richard brought the suitcase down like an oversized brick.

The coward didn’t dare to stop until the red stain stopped twitching. His muscles were screaming, his lungs were on fire and his heart sounded like a drum solo. All in all, he was not having a good time tonight. Coming to this filthy, forsaken, beetle-infested horror island had been a mis-

‘...’

‘Beetle-infested?’

Indeed, when the dishonest doctor glanced down, he saw several beetles scuttling lazily along the floor. In the laboratory of his mind, the pattern on their backs was matched against the medical catalog. Suddenly, the sound of cascading gold coins filled his ears. A greedy grin threatened to split his features. Even his eyes seemed to twist, taking the form of a familiar symbol.

The suitcase clicked open. Glass jars jingled. Beetles scuttled. The greedy smuggler chuckled to himself. He glanced over his shoulder, searching for his partner-in-crime. “Oh, Doji, could you lend me a ha-aaaa...”  Who was currently making mincemeat out of the bigger monster. “...Aaactually, I see you’re having a moment. I... I’ll leave you to it.” With that, he went back to gathering beetles. He for one wasn’t going to leave this tomb empty-handed.

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Total: 9032

Adventurers and archeologists, while similar in their fondness for old places, had some distinct differences. For instance, any adventurer could tell you that it wasn’t truly an adventure without a daring escape from a temple brimming with traps. An archaeologist, on the other hand, would’ve been perfectly fine just using the easiest exit.

Unfortunately, this time the self-proclaimed archeologist got wrapped up in the adventurer’s plan. The result was the noisiest, scariest sledding experience in recent memory. A wrecked sarcophagus came scraping, rumbling, screaming down the steep side of the spire. No trap could stop it, carefully crafted or otherwise.

Honestly, it was a small miracle the crash ended with only one casualty.

Once the dust settled, Richard rose shakily from the rubble and wreckage. Carefully he patted through all his important bones, rather surprised to find nothing broken or displaced. He had gotten luckier as of late... Or sturdier... First the drop in Water 7 and now this crash. Anything can happen once, but twice was already a trend. A worrying trend... If there was something going on with his body, he preferred to know what it was, exactly. Once a doctor, always a doctor, you know.

Seeing the jester slowly pulling out a deck of cards, the conman quickly hustled over to his side. Donning a disarming smile, he stopped the hand. “Now now, let’s not do anything hasty...” Something told him these weren’t used for a friendly game of poker... And he wasn’t quite in the mood for another fight. Instead, he went for another... well... Calling it a sales pitch was a little generous.

Richard gestured broadly at the towering helper. “See, my friend here is what you’d call an ogre. The kind that, ahem, prefers meat in his diet, if you catch my meaning. Clowns and jesters happen to be his favorite. Because, you know, they taste funny, or so I’m told.” He cast a conspiratorial glance at the boy, before leaning in for a careful whisper.

“And I’m afraid he’s feeling rather famished after our adventure...”

While the clown swallowed nervously, the crook quickly pushed forward. “So I propose a deal. Help us sail back to Notice and I will keep the hungry, hungry ogre away from you. How about it?” He offered a hand to the fellow. There was some clear hesitation in the air. “Y-you promise...?” But he simply smiled. “Would I lie to you?” A trembling handshake sealed the deal.

With the help of the jester and his dead friend’s... eh, his dead employer’s ship, the new temporary crew managed to get off the island of horrors. Doji’s leaky wreckage was brought along as well, dragged beneath the waves by the much bigger ship. The trip back was quiet, tense, and a little awkward.

Upon reaching Notice, the three pirates went their separate ways. 'Saul' vanished into the night, with barely a word of farewell. Fortunato sailed off, probably to somewhere more peaceful. And Doji... Well, for the services rendered, the blind boy was rewarded. ...With a half-empty bottle of Loguetown booze and a beetle in a glass jar. Perhaps the small souvenirs would serve as a valuable lesson...

Never trust a rat.

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Total: 9564