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- GuestGuest
Re: And business is good [Chuck]
Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:40 am
If Nathaniel thought his leg hurt before, it was nothing compared to the writhing pain he felt after having been given a dose of the Doctors green medicine. Even though his leg was healing, having to feel every bone crack, every torn muscle being sewn together, the skin on his leg pulled back to it's original place was all simply too much for Nathaniel to bear.
Nathaniel tried to scream, but having already been drained of most of his energy, nothing but air escaped his mouth. What's more, the whole process was still in motion, his leg was healing, but it seemed to take an eternity.
Nathaniel was struggling to stay sane at this point, all sorts of ideas were floating around in his head, maybe if he just cut his leg off, maybe if he just gave up, maybe it'd be better if Nathaniel had just died in the previous battle. It was then that the marine asked Nathan who he was.
If he was expecting a rational answer, he certainly wasn't going to get one; at least not while Nathaniel was in this state, he was simply too weak to speak or think properly. However, Nathaniel considered it rude to ignore the question completely, and so, still pushing through the pain, Nathaniel reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out an advertisement for one of Nathaniel’s shows that had his name on.
The show was meant to be put on later that day in the 'Amethyst Hill Theatre' on the other side of San Faldo. Nathaniel had booked the gig a few months ago as cover for his true intentions of following a lead he had on his father, but, if this pain ensued much longer, it looked like he'd have to give it a miss.
Missing a show, on top of his current situation, only further added to Nathaniel's frustration.
Nathaniel tried to scream, but having already been drained of most of his energy, nothing but air escaped his mouth. What's more, the whole process was still in motion, his leg was healing, but it seemed to take an eternity.
Nathaniel was struggling to stay sane at this point, all sorts of ideas were floating around in his head, maybe if he just cut his leg off, maybe if he just gave up, maybe it'd be better if Nathaniel had just died in the previous battle. It was then that the marine asked Nathan who he was.
If he was expecting a rational answer, he certainly wasn't going to get one; at least not while Nathaniel was in this state, he was simply too weak to speak or think properly. However, Nathaniel considered it rude to ignore the question completely, and so, still pushing through the pain, Nathaniel reached into his inside coat pocket and pulled out an advertisement for one of Nathaniel’s shows that had his name on.
The show was meant to be put on later that day in the 'Amethyst Hill Theatre' on the other side of San Faldo. Nathaniel had booked the gig a few months ago as cover for his true intentions of following a lead he had on his father, but, if this pain ensued much longer, it looked like he'd have to give it a miss.
Missing a show, on top of his current situation, only further added to Nathaniel's frustration.
- Maxwell
[tracker=/t139-richard-maxwell#516]
Name : Richard Maxwell
Epithet : Plague Rat
Age : 49
Height : 6'0" / 183 cm
Weight : 160 lbs. / 73 kg
Species/Tribe : Human
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Supernova
Bounty : [bel=r] 243,000,000
Quality Score : S+
Income Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies); +0.11 (from turf)
Shop Discount : -10%
Balance : [bel] 2,204,829,125
[[bookworm]][[firstaidkit]][[berryprinter]]
[[identitytheft]][[identitytheft]][[improviseadaptovercome]][[logia]]
Turf : [turf=/t353-turf-details-rubeck-island#1168]Rubeck Island[/turf]
Posts : 318
Re: And business is good [Chuck]
Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:18 pm
Richard found himself pleasantly surprised when, the patient didn’t start screaming his head off. Well, not for the lack of trying, mind you. Fortunately the young fellow only had strained wheezes left in him. His smile, though friendly as always, wasn’t perhaps the most comforting thing to see. "Do try to get comfortable, friend. This will take a while." Unfortunately for the young man, painkiller was not an option here. Much too expensive for what essentially amounted to a free sample. He didn’t do charity, you know. Besides, the promise was merely to heal the fellow, exactly what he was doing. He had never spoken a word about easing his pain.
While the patient... ahem... recuperated, the criminal turned back to his suitcase. He gathered his belongings and slipped them into their places with routine ease. Hunched over the belongings, he carefully shifted through clothes and bottles. A rustle of silk here and a chime of glass there there... It was an old habit, his best effort shield the suitcase’s contents from curious eyes. Not that he would accuse anyone here of prying, buuuut a little paranoia never hurt anyone. Many of these items were not for the lawful people to see. Between chemicals stolen, addictive or just plain lethal, this luggage alone held about two dozen reasons to arrest him.
Thus he dearly hoped someone would respect their deal...
With a click, the mysterious suitcase was closed and locked. The rat caught a glance of a leaflet the young fellow handed over the marine. Something about it seemed distantly familiar... like the sort of thing he might’ve seen plastered on wall or dancing in the wind during his travels. After a moment of pondering and a thoughtful stroke of chin to go with it, the name got a reaction from the mixtures of memories. Wasn’t this fellow one of those upstart troublemakers? Yes... Supernovas... people called them. Quite the title. Begged the question though... Why hadn’t this marine already arrested the easy target?
While the patient... ahem... recuperated, the criminal turned back to his suitcase. He gathered his belongings and slipped them into their places with routine ease. Hunched over the belongings, he carefully shifted through clothes and bottles. A rustle of silk here and a chime of glass there there... It was an old habit, his best effort shield the suitcase’s contents from curious eyes. Not that he would accuse anyone here of prying, buuuut a little paranoia never hurt anyone. Many of these items were not for the lawful people to see. Between chemicals stolen, addictive or just plain lethal, this luggage alone held about two dozen reasons to arrest him.
Thus he dearly hoped someone would respect their deal...
With a click, the mysterious suitcase was closed and locked. The rat caught a glance of a leaflet the young fellow handed over the marine. Something about it seemed distantly familiar... like the sort of thing he might’ve seen plastered on wall or dancing in the wind during his travels. After a moment of pondering and a thoughtful stroke of chin to go with it, the name got a reaction from the mixtures of memories. Wasn’t this fellow one of those upstart troublemakers? Yes... Supernovas... people called them. Quite the title. Begged the question though... Why hadn’t this marine already arrested the easy target?
- Technique active:
Recovery Serum
Technique Level: 40
Technique Range: 1m
Technique Cooldown: 6 posts (3 post duration + debuff)
Technique Description: With a quick green injection, Richard amplifies the patient's natural healing drastically. This grants them high-speed regeneration for 3 posts. They are healed equal to one medium attack every post for the duration. The effect focuses on internal damage first, mending broken bones and repairing damaged organs very efficiently. However, the effect is excruciatingly painful and leaves the patient unable to utilize their full strength, thus they get -15% Attack debuff for the duration.
Recovery serum 2/3
________________________________________________________
Wanted Dead or Alive: Richard 'Plague Rat' Maxwell
- GuestGuest
Re: And business is good [Chuck]
Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:04 am
Chuck grabbed the piece of paper that the young lad gave him, he thought that he would be much better from the green goo that was going inside his leg and healing it but Chuck assumed wrong, he apologized for being inconsiderate. When he grabbed the paper and started to read the advertisement, he skimmed most of the witty words that tried to get the reader to go to the show. He read the performers name at the bottom and then Chuck instantly froze for a minute. He recognized that name, all high-ranking marine officers were to be aware of any high-rising rookies in the seas.
Chuck let go of the paper, it flew to the ground and then Chuck put his hand on his head, trying to figure and piece all this out. "Of all the blasted pirates... why did it have to be a supernova..." Chuck knew who this man was, Nathaniel Thorne... If it were any other pirate, Chuck would have no problem just letting them go, however if word gets out that a supernova was let free by a rear-admiral, it would ruin Chuck's reputation completely. He was trying to think of an alternate way for this to end but he can't really think of anything, this turned into a really tricky situation pretty fast for Chuck, he usually calculates these things pretty fast but this was a problem that Chuck never thought he would run into.
He then noticed the Rat was packing up his suitcase and supplies, "Oh, the treatment is done? good job and don't worry, I'll uphold my part of the deal." Chuck said, Chuck walked over to Nathaniel and crouched down. "What am I going to do with you? I could arrest you, but you'd reveal what conspired here... If I try to help you escape, I would mostly likely be seen and removed from the marines, with a bounty on my head as well... help me out here kid, how are we going to get out of this tricky situation?"
Chuck let go of the paper, it flew to the ground and then Chuck put his hand on his head, trying to figure and piece all this out. "Of all the blasted pirates... why did it have to be a supernova..." Chuck knew who this man was, Nathaniel Thorne... If it were any other pirate, Chuck would have no problem just letting them go, however if word gets out that a supernova was let free by a rear-admiral, it would ruin Chuck's reputation completely. He was trying to think of an alternate way for this to end but he can't really think of anything, this turned into a really tricky situation pretty fast for Chuck, he usually calculates these things pretty fast but this was a problem that Chuck never thought he would run into.
He then noticed the Rat was packing up his suitcase and supplies, "Oh, the treatment is done? good job and don't worry, I'll uphold my part of the deal." Chuck said, Chuck walked over to Nathaniel and crouched down. "What am I going to do with you? I could arrest you, but you'd reveal what conspired here... If I try to help you escape, I would mostly likely be seen and removed from the marines, with a bounty on my head as well... help me out here kid, how are we going to get out of this tricky situation?"
- GuestGuest
Re: And business is good [Chuck]
Tue Mar 21, 2017 3:18 pm
The pain had started to subside slightly at this point, but it certainly hadn't gone away completely. Nathaniel still found it too difficult to move around, but he was pretty sure that he could muster up some sort of voice now to both the Marine and the Doctor - whether that be to thank the latter or to hit him for the amount of discomfort he had caused, Nathaniel wasn't sure yet.
It was at this point that Nathaniel realised what it was he'd just done. In his moment of madness, Nathaniel had willingly given up his true identity to a Rear-Admiral. Things could get ugly at any moment. Not only was Nathaniel a wanted man, but he was completely vulnerable in his current state. As he was trying to think of a way out of his current predicament, the Marine knelt down next to the wounded Magician and spoke of his trying to help Nathaniel escape. It took Nathaniel by surprise to say the least. As if bestowed by the Gods, Nathaniel had been given a free ticket out of the situation he was in, and he was more than willing to jump on the next train heading to freedom. Now all he had to do was think of a plan.
As he lay and ponder, suddenly he heard a voice coming from just outside the now demolished building.
"Rear-Admiral Newriss sir? Where are you? We've locked up the prisoners and now await your orders." The marine said as he made his way through the debris towards where the three of them had gathered. "Sir, are you in here? This place looks pretty dangerous, we should probably try to get back to the ship."
Shit. This was the last thing Nathaniel needed. He had to get away fast, after all he highly doubted this Marine would be as opened minded to Pirates as the Rear-Admiral appeared to be. Nathaniel tried to sit up slightly, still trying not to think about the pain and beckoned the others closer to him so he could whisper.
"Look, we need to get out of here quickly... Take me to the Amethyst Hill Theatre, we can hide there backstage and think about our options. I doubt either of you want to be seen, so lets use the rooftops. The buildings on San Faldo are more or less all connected, so if we keep heading north from above we can avoid detection. But we need to go now." He said to the two of them before falling back to the floor, pain once again flooding his mind and body. He wasn't sure if he could trust the Doctor or the Marine, but he had confidence they wanted to get away just as much as he did. At this moment, his future was in their hands once again.
It was at this point that Nathaniel realised what it was he'd just done. In his moment of madness, Nathaniel had willingly given up his true identity to a Rear-Admiral. Things could get ugly at any moment. Not only was Nathaniel a wanted man, but he was completely vulnerable in his current state. As he was trying to think of a way out of his current predicament, the Marine knelt down next to the wounded Magician and spoke of his trying to help Nathaniel escape. It took Nathaniel by surprise to say the least. As if bestowed by the Gods, Nathaniel had been given a free ticket out of the situation he was in, and he was more than willing to jump on the next train heading to freedom. Now all he had to do was think of a plan.
As he lay and ponder, suddenly he heard a voice coming from just outside the now demolished building.
"Rear-Admiral Newriss sir? Where are you? We've locked up the prisoners and now await your orders." The marine said as he made his way through the debris towards where the three of them had gathered. "Sir, are you in here? This place looks pretty dangerous, we should probably try to get back to the ship."
Shit. This was the last thing Nathaniel needed. He had to get away fast, after all he highly doubted this Marine would be as opened minded to Pirates as the Rear-Admiral appeared to be. Nathaniel tried to sit up slightly, still trying not to think about the pain and beckoned the others closer to him so he could whisper.
"Look, we need to get out of here quickly... Take me to the Amethyst Hill Theatre, we can hide there backstage and think about our options. I doubt either of you want to be seen, so lets use the rooftops. The buildings on San Faldo are more or less all connected, so if we keep heading north from above we can avoid detection. But we need to go now." He said to the two of them before falling back to the floor, pain once again flooding his mind and body. He wasn't sure if he could trust the Doctor or the Marine, but he had confidence they wanted to get away just as much as he did. At this moment, his future was in their hands once again.
- Maxwell
[tracker=/t139-richard-maxwell#516]
Name : Richard Maxwell
Epithet : Plague Rat
Age : 49
Height : 6'0" / 183 cm
Weight : 160 lbs. / 73 kg
Species/Tribe : Human
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Supernova
Bounty : [bel=r] 243,000,000
Quality Score : S+
Income Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies); +0.11 (from turf)
Shop Discount : -10%
Balance : [bel] 2,204,829,125
[[bookworm]][[firstaidkit]][[berryprinter]]
[[identitytheft]][[identitytheft]][[improviseadaptovercome]][[logia]]
Turf : [turf=/t353-turf-details-rubeck-island#1168]Rubeck Island[/turf]
Posts : 318
Re: And business is good [Chuck]
Wed Mar 22, 2017 12:29 pm
The rat flinched at the sudden voice, his free hand instinctively dipping into a pocket. Under any other circumstances, this would have been the moment where he threw down his trump card -and perhaps a witty one-liner to go with it- to cover his swift escape with a noxious smoke screen. However... doing so would’ve been a massive beacon to every government lackey, law hound and bounty hunter in the city... The equivalent of taking what secrecy he had earned from the deal and shattering it like a glass vial against the cold, hard ground. Not exactly the ideal solution, no.
However, when the only other option was working together with these two... The venom-colored gaze narrowed pensively. ...Good lord, he actually found himself considering it. What was the world coming to? Quickly the troublesome thoughts were boiled in the mental flasks, dripped through the pipes of reason, distilled into two pure facts. One, he had held his end of the bargain, thus the Marine had no reason to chase him. Two, nothing bound him to these two anymore. Only a fool would willingly stick around an enemy and a potential enemy. There was nothing left to gain and everything to lose.
Nevertheless, it cost nothing to be polite. Richard pulled the brim of his hat lower, casting a sly shadow over the beady green eyes. "Ahem, gentlemen..." One last brush across his jacket, one last tug of the tie, one last smile, all purely out of habit. "As much as I would love to spend some more time with you fellows, I simply must be off." His voice remained hushed, barely lingering beyond immediate earshot. "Places to go, people to meet, see?" Things to steal, fools to cheat, more like it. Even while lying through his teeth, his tone was wrapped in false sincerity.
"Farewell and... good luck."
Waving goodbye in passing, the criminal hurried up the ruined rubble. He proved surprisingly spry for a man of such a withered frame. Between the swift steps he glanced at his watch. The serum would be wearing off any moment now... And he’d rather not be around when that happened. Without further ado, the Plague Rat scurried across a couple of rooftops, hopped down to the crowd and vanished into the colorful carnival night.
((Exit Richard stage left. Thank you both for the enjoyable thread.))
However, when the only other option was working together with these two... The venom-colored gaze narrowed pensively. ...Good lord, he actually found himself considering it. What was the world coming to? Quickly the troublesome thoughts were boiled in the mental flasks, dripped through the pipes of reason, distilled into two pure facts. One, he had held his end of the bargain, thus the Marine had no reason to chase him. Two, nothing bound him to these two anymore. Only a fool would willingly stick around an enemy and a potential enemy. There was nothing left to gain and everything to lose.
Nevertheless, it cost nothing to be polite. Richard pulled the brim of his hat lower, casting a sly shadow over the beady green eyes. "Ahem, gentlemen..." One last brush across his jacket, one last tug of the tie, one last smile, all purely out of habit. "As much as I would love to spend some more time with you fellows, I simply must be off." His voice remained hushed, barely lingering beyond immediate earshot. "Places to go, people to meet, see?" Things to steal, fools to cheat, more like it. Even while lying through his teeth, his tone was wrapped in false sincerity.
"Farewell and... good luck."
Waving goodbye in passing, the criminal hurried up the ruined rubble. He proved surprisingly spry for a man of such a withered frame. Between the swift steps he glanced at his watch. The serum would be wearing off any moment now... And he’d rather not be around when that happened. Without further ado, the Plague Rat scurried across a couple of rooftops, hopped down to the crowd and vanished into the colorful carnival night.
- Technique active:
Recovery Serum
Technique Level: 40
Technique Range: 1m
Technique Cooldown: 6 posts (3 post duration + debuff)
Technique Description: With a quick green injection, Richard amplifies the patient's natural healing drastically. This grants them high-speed regeneration for 3 posts. They are healed equal to one medium attack every post for the duration. The effect focuses on internal damage first, mending broken bones and repairing damaged organs very efficiently. However, the effect is excruciatingly painful and leaves the patient unable to utilize their full strength, thus they get -15% Attack debuff for the duration.
Recovery serum 3/3
((Exit Richard stage left. Thank you both for the enjoyable thread.))
________________________________________________________
Wanted Dead or Alive: Richard 'Plague Rat' Maxwell
- GuestGuest
Re: And business is good [Chuck]
Fri Mar 24, 2017 3:56 am
Chuck wanted to stop the Rat from escaping, because he preferred to have help with Nathaniel, but it seems he already ran away, but he couldn't really do anything about it right now as he had to deal with the marine that was coming up, "Don't freak out, okay?" Chuck said to Nathaniel, Chuck then splits his head and flies it towards the direction of where he heard the marine, he managed to find him and the marine was surprised, but then he stood at attention. "Rear-Admiral Newriss! what's going on? where's the rest of your body?" Chuck said "Everything's fine, I'm still searching around this area, I believe this is where the fight began and I'm looking for clues." the marine saluted "Yes sir! do you want me to help? or bring more marines to help?" Chuck then ordered him "No, that won't be necessary. I can handle the investigating, I need every soldier to guard the prisoners so a breakout doesn't happen, that's the last thing we need to deal with."
And with that the marine ran off. Chuck flew back his head to his body and re-attached it. "Okay... I'll probably use my fruit powers to fly you up to the rooftops, people tend to freak out when some of my limbs just fly around so I'll try to minimize my use of my devil fruit." he then brought up Nathaniel's right arm around his neck and Chuck put his right arm at the bottom of both Nathaniel's legs, behind the knees. Chuck was fully carrying Nathaniel now.
Chuck ran to the nearest building that was North, he then splitted his entire upper half body, still carrying Nathaniel, flying him to the rooftop and then carefully placing him down, Chuck then flew his upper half back to his body, reconnected and then jumped up to the rooftop, he then carried Nathaniel back up the same way he was holding him, he then started to rush through the rooftops, trying to find this "Amethyst Hill Threatre" place that Nathaniel mentioned.
Chuck saw a massive gathering outside some establishment, which he assumed was the threatre that Nathaniel was talking about, Chuck stayed on the rooftops and used them to get behind the theatre, so they wouldn't get spotted. Chuck jumped down from the rooftops, and from the back of the threatre, found a door with a guard. He walked up but immediately the guard halted them. "You're not allowed back here! leave!"
((OOC Section: Thanks Maxwell! and Nathaniel, feel free to use Chuck to carry Nathaniel the rest of the way into backstage, to drop you off or something.))
And with that the marine ran off. Chuck flew back his head to his body and re-attached it. "Okay... I'll probably use my fruit powers to fly you up to the rooftops, people tend to freak out when some of my limbs just fly around so I'll try to minimize my use of my devil fruit." he then brought up Nathaniel's right arm around his neck and Chuck put his right arm at the bottom of both Nathaniel's legs, behind the knees. Chuck was fully carrying Nathaniel now.
Chuck ran to the nearest building that was North, he then splitted his entire upper half body, still carrying Nathaniel, flying him to the rooftop and then carefully placing him down, Chuck then flew his upper half back to his body, reconnected and then jumped up to the rooftop, he then carried Nathaniel back up the same way he was holding him, he then started to rush through the rooftops, trying to find this "Amethyst Hill Threatre" place that Nathaniel mentioned.
Chuck saw a massive gathering outside some establishment, which he assumed was the threatre that Nathaniel was talking about, Chuck stayed on the rooftops and used them to get behind the theatre, so they wouldn't get spotted. Chuck jumped down from the rooftops, and from the back of the threatre, found a door with a guard. He walked up but immediately the guard halted them. "You're not allowed back here! leave!"
((OOC Section: Thanks Maxwell! and Nathaniel, feel free to use Chuck to carry Nathaniel the rest of the way into backstage, to drop you off or something.))
- GuestGuest
Re: And business is good [Chuck]
Fri Mar 24, 2017 4:39 pm
Finally, the pain had more or less worn off, but Nathaniel was still weakened from the whole experience and so would still need help to get to where he needed to go. Luckily enough, after the Doctor dashed away, the Rear-Admiral used his weird abilities to shoo away the approaching marine, and used them further in order to get Nathaniel up to the rooftops as he had planned. As they made their way to the Theatre Nathaniel took the opportunity to look down upon San Faldo. As the later hours approached, the true beauty of the Island came into fruition. Dazzling lights started to appear throughout the island, all varying in size and colour. The mass array of twinkles was truly a sight to behold, and one that was rarely seen from Nathaniel's current point of view. Beautiful, simply beautiful.
Eventually, the Marine carrying Nathaniel reached the Amethyst Hill Theatre, of which was also lit up with a beautiful purple haze. The Marine made his way to the back entrance which was being guarded by a tall balding man with an disgruntled look on his face. He began to shout at the Marine, of whom gently let Nathaniel down, completely ignoring the guard.
"It's ok Mickey, he's helping me out" said Nathaniel, limping past him and towards the stage door. Just before he went inside, Nathaniel turned back to the Marine, a smile on his face.
"Thanks for the lift, and, you know... everything else back there, if it weren't for you and that Doctor, I'd be dead right now..." Nathaniel said before inhaling deeply and turning back around to face the entrance. "You know? You're not that bad, for a Marine." And with that, Nathaniel moved into the Theatre and closed the door behind him before the Marine could reply. It wasn't that he was being rude, but rather that he didn't want anyone else to see the marine being friendly with a known Pirate.
Nathaniel wasn't sure if he'd ever see him or the Doctor again, and wasn't sure if they'd be friends or foes if he did, but what he was sure of is that in the end, this hadn't been a wasted trip after all. Nathaniel had had an interesting experience on the Carnival Island, and would look back on it with fond memories.
Before he knew it, he had reached the entrance to the stage, the lights were dimmed and the murmur's from the audience became silent. Nathaniel took a deep breath.
"Let's get this show on the road!"
Thank you both for a fun time, I hope we can RP together again in the future!
Eventually, the Marine carrying Nathaniel reached the Amethyst Hill Theatre, of which was also lit up with a beautiful purple haze. The Marine made his way to the back entrance which was being guarded by a tall balding man with an disgruntled look on his face. He began to shout at the Marine, of whom gently let Nathaniel down, completely ignoring the guard.
"It's ok Mickey, he's helping me out" said Nathaniel, limping past him and towards the stage door. Just before he went inside, Nathaniel turned back to the Marine, a smile on his face.
"Thanks for the lift, and, you know... everything else back there, if it weren't for you and that Doctor, I'd be dead right now..." Nathaniel said before inhaling deeply and turning back around to face the entrance. "You know? You're not that bad, for a Marine." And with that, Nathaniel moved into the Theatre and closed the door behind him before the Marine could reply. It wasn't that he was being rude, but rather that he didn't want anyone else to see the marine being friendly with a known Pirate.
Nathaniel wasn't sure if he'd ever see him or the Doctor again, and wasn't sure if they'd be friends or foes if he did, but what he was sure of is that in the end, this hadn't been a wasted trip after all. Nathaniel had had an interesting experience on the Carnival Island, and would look back on it with fond memories.
Before he knew it, he had reached the entrance to the stage, the lights were dimmed and the murmur's from the audience became silent. Nathaniel took a deep breath.
"Let's get this show on the road!"
Thank you both for a fun time, I hope we can RP together again in the future!
- Gray
[tracker=/t131-tracker-gray-starks#504]
Name : Gray
Epithet : "The Conqueror"; "Black Fist"
Age : 49
Height : 10'2" (310 cm)
Weight : 1043 lbs (473 kg)
Species/Tribe : Cyborg Human
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Lurking Legend (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Sangria's Vane (Destroyed)
Crew Role : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Bounty : [ber=r] 5,000,000,000
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Income Bonus : +0.20
Shop Discount : -30%
Balance : [bel] 25,000,000,000
[[strollingdeath]][[baneoftheweak]][[riseandshine]][[childofdestiny]][[freakofnature]]
[[punchoutguru]][[dulcetvirtuoso]]
[[improviseadaptovercome]]
Posts : 3983
Re: And business is good [Chuck]
Sat Mar 25, 2017 10:03 am
EPISODE COMPLETED
I quite enjoyed reading this little rumble of yours in the dirty streets of an otherwise festive carnival city that is San Faldo. I have only a few comments (more like suggestions) to make.
Firstly, I would've liked to see at least some sort of development and depth in the antagonist of the thread. He was far too generic to make the fight as exciting as it could've been. A few varied personalities of baddies peppered in there might have been more fun too. But, you all did very well to show your own characters' struggles, which is what's most important.
Secondly, both the fight and the thread itself seemed to end a bit abruptly. But, since it was an episode, that's no big deal. But, at least with arcs and sagas, do try to keep in mind that I'll be hoping to see some resolutions that extend outside of the battle and recovery too; an over-arching plot that doesn't just involve a chaotic fight without a solid story behind it. For example, with this episode, Nathaniel could've gone into further detail regarding what lead it was about his father that he was in San Faldo for. And while he didn't necessary have to find that lead by the end of the thread, some sort of lingering bitterness regarding how his recovering injury may hinder in his investigation might've been prudent. Again, this is only as an example.
But, nonetheless, I managed to read through the entire thread in a single sitting, which makes its content all the more deserving of the following rewards:
Richard Maxwell
Quality: A
Difficulty: -1
Bounty: +0 (Chuck seems like he'd be true to his word, not that he really figured out how Richard was anyway)
Berries: 3,080,000 berries (2,200,000 - 220,000 + 1,100,000)
EXP: 70 (50 - 5 + 25)
Chuck Newriss
Quality: C
Difficulty: 0
Berries: 1,000,000 berries (1,000,000 + 0 + 0)
EXP: 50 (50 + 0 + 0)
Nathaniel Thorne
Quality: B
Difficulty: 0
Bounty: +0 (Again, I highly doubt the rear admiral reported Magic Man's illegal presence and involvement in the incident of The Drowned Rat)
Berries: 1,250,000 berries (1,000,000 + 0 + 250,000)
EXP: 63 (50 + 0 + 13)
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